Winter Lessons Learned

Even though this native of Texas has now been living in Regensburg for five years, some things still manage to surprise her.

Although the winter season is slowly approaching an end, there are some valuable lessons I have learned over the years to help me survive them. Here are just a few:
The Art of Dressing Getting ready to leave your house is like preparing to step out onto the moon. The first task is to put as many clothes on without looking fat: It’s all about the layering. Once you’ve figured out how to do your tops, then you have the bottom to contend with. Yeah, ok, pantyhose are a lot sexier than Long Johns “Lange Unterhosen”, but it’s freezing outside, so who cares?
Don’t forget the ski socks, pants over, boots on top, bulky sweater, itchy scarf,  your “fat” jacket, and by the time you’ve got all of this on, you’ve added 10 pounds to your weight, and wasted 30 minutes of your life. Last but not least: A hat. Yes, I said it. You have to get a hat/hoodie. Even if you look dorky, or if you have a funny shaped head, or if you resemble a newly hatched egg. It wouldn’t even hurt to get that ridiculous hoodie with flaps on the sides to cover your ears. You won’t regret it.
No Excuses Snow doesn’t stop the Germans, but a scorching hot day does. They have “hitzefrei” (Heat Free Days) days in the summer, but no Snow Free Days. Don’t call in to work and proclaim your own snow day, it won’t work.
Shoveling It’s on the agenda. It’s like, “What are you doing today?”-“Shoveling.”-“And you?”-“Shoveling too”-“And well this week, I am, um, shoveling.” This obnoxious routine begins at 4 in morning. Shovel?
Faceplant! If  you fall, you fall. You can’t sue someone, like you can in the States for not mopping public floors on a snowy day. If you did fall, people would just look at you and say, “Hoppala!” then maybe someone would help you up, “na, ja”.
Winter Sports Never say you don’t know how to snowboard or ski. If you can’t, then learn. Otherwise, no one will invite you on ski trips, or if you decide to go,  your buddies will be flying down the mountain-side on snowboards and skis, while you embarassingly practice alone on the bunny slope near the parking lot. 
We still have quite a few seasonal changes before we reach the spring season, but there’s nothing that thrills me more than leaving the long winter season behind.

28.05.10 - peter lang