Rocket Science

Even though this native of Texas has now been living in Regensburg for five years, some things still manage to surprise her.

On a lazy Saturday morning, I open the newspaper to look for a new apartment, and this is what I literally see for an apartment ad:

1,5 ZKB          33m²           300,- EUR
Attr.gepfl, AB Whg +TG, NK u. KT, Zhzg. PK, sep. Kü, WC/BaWa, nä DEZ, frei ab 02.01.04, Zuschriften ZEV 012345678 an ...

And I am thinking, um…D to the double O-G? 33 to the second power + xyz? Gosh Darn it! Frustration immediately creeps in as I search on the internet to find out exactly what all the abbreviations mean.  After realizing that the apartment is a possibility, I muster up the courage to call and set up an appointment. Then a guy answers the phone with a name like, Herr Pfützenreuther. I mean that’s ok and all, but ask any American to pronounce the PPFF- thing with an umlaut next to it, and see what you get. So I try my best to scribble the name down, concentrate on what was said and set up a date. The phone call alone is enough to break a sweat, but that is not the end of  it. Locals have told me that landlords/realtors choose a person to have an apartment either because of their willingness to pay all fees upfront, or because they like you. I choose the latter. So I spend the next 3 hours in the bathroom fixing my hair.
The most frustrating thing, is when you get there and they say, “Oh yeah, I am leaving and taking the kitchen with me.” Huh? That never happens in America! Or,“ Yeah, you have to buy my ugly, out of control expensive kitchen if you want the place.” Or, “If you want the place, you gotta buy my stinky, god forsaken furniture.”
The last time I moved in Germany, I was in a real panic when I had to paint my apartment for the next renter to enjoy. I can’t paint! So, I got a friend to help me out and while painting, pieces of the ceiling were falling off and it was like this: “Paint over it!”, or “What’s that crap on the wall?” - “ I don’t know! Paint over it!”, or “I can't get that nail out!”- “Look, put tape on it, and paint over it!” It wasn’t easy painting, moving and learning the ropes of Regensburg real estate. But, persistance and perseverence pays, and it doesn’t hurt to have a few good friends to help you along the way.

28.05.10 - peter lang